How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
