Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize