also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
