Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
