At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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