5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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