if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
