barbara walters just said penis...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize