Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
