I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
