yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
