I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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