well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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