last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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