I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
