Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Less talking, more tequila
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
