This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
