Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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