So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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