its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
