I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
