is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
