There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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