I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
