He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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