why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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