i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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