I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
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