They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
