i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
