Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
