I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
