I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My ATM looks so different sober.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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