update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you traded sex for a burrito?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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