Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
