We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
A+ Viking dick
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
