his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
