Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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