oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize