He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize