i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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