I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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