I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
