my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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