Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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