ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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