you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
