how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
