Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize