i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
