But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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