I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
