..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
