was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
