this beer tastes like vomit already
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
